Two Kinds of People

By Rami Abdo

There are two kinds of people in this world: The dominators and the dominated. Which one do you think you are? I would suspect at this point for most answers to be equally split. If time and consideration is properly taken before answering such a broad question however, it may not be so clear cut. Allow me to inject a few interesting points in order to kick the brain's gears into action with this test of minor reckoning.

First and foremost an analytical breakdown in the mind of the meaning of the words, dominator and dominated. Anyone would agree that the word dominator instills positive, powerful emotions; while dominated signifies a weakness of character, a lack of self esteem, and a general feeling of being perpetually trodden on by people belonging in the other group. Perhaps a critical analysis of one’s lifestyle and choices will ensue, casting doubt on the decisions one made during their life changing moments. Concepts of imprisoned urbanization and the true meaning of freedom must be rifled with,  leaving one stifled with the need for air. That’s just skimming the surface of a vast philosophical network of ideologies and beliefs on society, religion, government, and other domineering bodies of the modern age that can affect one's decision.

As all this information travels speedily through the synapses and neurons of our brains, it is processed thoroughly and a final decision has to be eventually made. Inevitably, most of us would come to this conclusion: We don’t want to be the weaker of the two; We do have control of our lives and our choices, and we won’t let anyone boss us around.  We will always choose to be the dominators, for it is a terrifying and nerve wracking thought to consider yourself to be dominated your entire life; past, present, and future. Only the weakest of us would be in such a lowly state of depression as to choose to answer the question with: “my entire life has been a pile of rubbish and I will never rise from the heap.”

Here I would present a shattering premise for your consideration. The underlying reasons why people believe themselves to be the dominators of their societal bubble is because they are in actuality dominated; dominated by a complex characteristic that is present in the majority of us. This complex is the need to act superior over others; that drive to prove our arguments are the right ones; the reasons why we plot the downfall of our enemies, from a jealous boyfriend fantasizing the demise of his girlfriend’s suitors to the ex-employee who plots the ruin of his employer. Scientists sabotage their own research, trying to prove their own hypothesis instead of working objectively. Philosophers argue over meaningless issues, simply so that one can rule over the others in intellectual superiority. Husbands and wives do the same thing (albeit not so gracefully), as do siblings and friends and any group of any kind across the entire planet in some form or another.

One reason why this complex exists is it is a warped version of the survival mechanism, a necessary attribute of mankind’s animalistic history, used to ensure the continuation of our DNA to the next generation. This need to dominate others is a way for us to mark our territories, keep our enemies and peers in check, and make sure we live through life’s ordeals without too many hiccups. In this sense it starts to gain clarity and reason. This complex is most evidently seen when a women is introduced to a group of male friends. The ensuing conversation would usually end up with the men teasing, criticizing, and generally displaying the faults of the other males, while at the same time exemplifying their own positive achievements. All this done in the name of mating rituals that evolved over time from simple head-butting contests and other Alpha-male rites to whatever warped bewildering puzzle of a game we have today. Take special notice of it the next time you observe a group of men around a single woman;  They will subtly hack at each other through snide remarks and body language, undermining one another until all that is left in the eyes of the desired is the victor. The age-old alpha male head-butting is still there, just hidden between the lines. Even in this day and age nobody wants a weak partner that gets pushed around and can’t protect them. When mating is involved, it’s still survival of the fittest out there. Even though the stereotype that immediately comes to mind is men fighting over a beautiful woman, the opposite holds true too. I’ve seen many cases of two women ending their friendship over a man, an unworthy cause to say the least.

Another possibility that fashioned this complex is the mental conditioning created by social norms and morals over what’s acceptable and what’s not. For example the rise of fashion created a need for people to fit in with the current trends, an obsession to gather the latest and best clothes, shoes, toys or whatever else. I highly doubt that Neanderthal man cared whether his fur-skin cloak was of the latest trends, or whether body piercing was in or out at that moment. Similarly, this complex that dominates us could have developed over time from this form of chest thumping. For example, a person might exaggerate an event in order to draw attention to themselves, or make sure they have the latest gadgets so as not to be sneered at. We are a product of our own making; We created a world where our children squander our wealth on junk and idolize superficial scatterbrains instead of people that really make a difference. It’s no wonder we have our priorities all screwed up.

It may seem more logical to presume that this complex is a fusion of both the above possibilities; a survival mechanism that developed through time into a new social norm. Nowadays, it’s not socially acceptable anymore for two men to physically fight for a woman or position. If someone tries to steal your land or possessions, you can’t exact vengeance without repercussions. Thus mankind has (as mankind usually does) created a more complex form of dealing with these problems. Put everyone in their place, i.e. below you, to ensure these things don’t happen. Money comes into play here as it long replaced physical strength as the decider over who is the better man.

So the dominators are dominated by a complex that runs their lives, and the dominated are dominated by a complex that doesn’t. There are no real dominators. The two groups are really one, because both are run by the same complex machinery; one with its presence, the other with its absence. Understanding and accepting that last statement is the first step in acknowledging the existence of this deformed state of being that we have trapped ourselves into and learning how better to live with its cycle. It’s not going to go away, it’s just going to twist and corrupt further and further into itself, and many years from now our descendents will look back at our behavior and mock us for our savage ways, as we do to our ancestors now.

Once again, which one do you think you are?